Which word gets emphasized in a cumulative adjective?

I was wondering if anyone can clarify which word or adjective gets emphasized in a cumulative adjective — is it the first word or the last word (the one closest to the noun)?

I have included two sources which seem to be saying different things (unless I'm misinterpreting them): "English Grammar for Dummies" — "sometimes one descriptive word is clearly more important than the rest...e.g. 'a funny, little, cocktail hat'. Here you're giving equal weight to each of the three descriptions. Do you really want to do so? Probably not,you're likely to be emphasising that it's a cocktail hat....and would write it as a 'funny little cocktail hat' "(last word before noun)

However on www.grammar-monster.com/lessons/adjectives.htm — "The order can change for emphasis too. If there were two old waiters, one Italian and one Spanish, then..... the word "Italian" would be emphasized in "the Italian old waiter" (first word, furthest from noun)

any help is appreciated, thanks

Edit

In

funny little cocktail hat

cocktail hat is a type of hat. The emphasis hence is the nearest adjective little.

In the second example comparing the Italian old waiter with another old waiter, the nationality is the emphasis.

Here old is almost already treated as part of the phrase old waiter.

The usual way we refer to this waiter would be the old Italian waiter, with the focus Italian.